It’s one of those days when I just want to stop time. I actually just want to order time to stop, or freeze, or slow down. What happened, though? You ask… It’s the day when the little heart that beats outside of my body reminded me that he can’t wait to grow up.
Ama when I’m big then I can eat hard candy? Asked my two-year-old with sparkly eyes. Yes, I’m one of those moms who’s scared of him choking on hard candy. Yes! I tell him. And I can have a lollipop then too?? And I can open the fridge? We stop him from doing so and lock it at times. And I can go inside the kitchen? And I can drive Baba’s car? And I can take a shower myself? And I can wash? And I can pour water for myself? And I can touch the dangerous? The switches are “the dangerous”.
So many questions. So many innocent little wishes. My heart literally skipped a beat. For real. Here we are complaining about motherhood being a strain on us and here they are really wanting to grow up.
Slow down my love, for I need you now. I need those hugs and kisses more than ever. I need that face next to mine and those tickles and that laughter. Slow down so I can hold you more. Slow down so the world doesn’t stain your innocent soul. Slow down so you can be my baby a little while longer. I just realized that I will miss this time so much and there will come a time when I will yearn for his time. So here I am baby. All my time is yours. I love you more than anything else in the whole world.