Busting Boys Will Be Boys: How to End the Mentality

For generations, the phrase “boys will be boys” has been used to excuse behavior typically associated with boys and men, including aggression, roughhousing, and even harassment or assault. However, this phrase perpetuates harmful gender stereotypes and excuses unacceptable behavior. It is essential that we move beyond this mentality and instead focus on promoting healthy and respectful behavior. This blog aims to discuss why it is crucial to recognize the harm caused by the “boys will be boys” mentality and the need to promote positive gender norms that foster healthy relationships and respect for all.

The problem with boys will be boys

The phrase “boys will be boys” suggests that certain behaviors are natural and expected of boys and men. However, this concept is not only limiting but also dangerous. It reinforces gender stereotypes and encourages boys to engage in reckless and harmful behavior that can lead to physical harm, emotional trauma, and even legal consequences.

It’s crucial to understand that behavior is not determined by gender, and we should not expect or excuse certain behaviors based on someone’s gender. Think of it this way: When a young, impressionable boy is taught that being tough and aggressive is manly, and is expected of him, it is only natural that he acts out in ways that are harmful to others. 

The phrase also suggests that boys and men are not responsible for their actions. This is a dangerous message to send, especially in cases of sexual harassment or assault. Victims are often blamed for their own assault, with the perpetrator being excused with the justification that “boys will be boys.” This is not only unfair to the victim but also perpetuates a culture of violence and impunity.

Moving beyond boys will be boys

It is time to move beyond the “boys will be boys” mentality and instead focus on promoting healthy and respectful behavior. This includes teaching boys to respect others, communicate effectively, and engage in positive relationships.

What we need to do is encourage boys to express their emotions and teach them that it is okay to feel vulnerable. We need to promote positive role models and celebrate men who embody healthy and respectful behavior. We also need to teach boys that consent is essential in all types of relationships, including romantic and sexual relationships.

How to move beyond boys will be boys

Let’s explore some actionable strategies we can implement to shift away from the damaging “boys will be boys” mindset.

Challenge the Status Quo

The first step to moving beyond “boys will be boys” is to challenge the status quo. We need to question the harmful gender stereotypes that underpin this mentality and work to create a culture of respect and equality. We can start by calling out sexist jokes or language, and by challenging attitudes that excuse or condone harmful behavior.

Educate Boys

We need to educate boys about healthy relationships and consent. This includes teaching them about boundaries, communication, and respect. It is essential that boys learn that no means no and that they have a responsibility to obtain enthusiastic consent before engaging in any sexual activity.

Promote Positive Role Models

We need to celebrate positive role models and promote healthy and respectful behavior. This can include highlighting men who speak out against sexism and gender-based violence, and promoting healthy male friendships and relationships.

Encourage Emotional Expression

We need to encourage boys to express their emotions and teach them that it is okay to feel vulnerable. Boys should be taught to communicate their feelings in a healthy and constructive way, rather than resorting to violence or aggression.

Advocate for Change

We need to advocate for systemic change that promotes gender equality and dismantles harmful gender stereotypes. This can include supporting policies and programs that address gender-based violence and discrimination, as well as working to create safe and inclusive spaces for everyone.

Let’s raise our boys better!

As we conclude, it is evident that the phrase “boys will be boys” has perpetuated destructive gender norms and led to unacceptable behavior among boys and men. It is crucial to acknowledge this harmful mentality and make a conscious effort to promote a culture of healthy and respectful behavior. Through fostering positive relationships, effective communication, and mutual respect, we can create a safer and more equitable society for all. It is time to move beyond the limitations imposed by this shallow mentality and empower boys to become compassionate, responsible, and respectful individuals.

Moving beyond “boys will be boys” requires a concerted effort from all of us. By challenging harmful attitudes and promoting healthy and respectful behavior, we can help create a more equitable and safe society for everyone. We need to educate boys, promote positive role models, encourage emotional expression, and advocate for systemic change. Only then can we truly move beyond the harmful mentality of “boys will be boys” and create a better future for all.