A New Beginning: Raising Boys, Raising Myself 

There’s a moment in every single mother’s journey when reality truly sets in. Mine came when I found myself standing in the middle of my childhood home, my boys on either side of me, our entire world packed into a few suitcases. I had left behind a marriage that no longer served me, but at that moment, I wasn’t thinking about strength or fresh starts—I was just a mother, staring at my children and wondering how I was going to pull this off.

Fast forward five years, and here I am—single, working, raising two boys, and figuring things out as I go. If I could somehow travel back to that woman standing in the middle of those suitcases, I’d tell her one thing: “You have no idea how strong you are. But you’re about to find out.”

The Single Mom Balancing Act 

Being a single mother isn’t a job; it’s a full-blown, all-encompassing, life-consuming career with no sick days, no paid leave, and definitely no quiet quitting. I work long hours—teaching, running my own business, and being a mom 24/7. There are days when I feel like I’m being stretched in a hundred directions, and the mom guilt? Oh, it’s real. The nagging voice that whispers: “Are you around enough? Are you doing enough?” It never really goes away.

But here’s the thing—I know why I’m doing this. My boys have a stable, loving, non-toxic home. They are growing up in an environment where they are not afraid, where they are free to just be kids. And that keeps me going, even on the days when exhaustion threatens to pull me under. 

My Village

If I have stood tall through all of this, it’s mostly because I have never stood alone. They say it takes a village and I believe I have a great one. My parents—my incredible mother and father—have been my unwavering support system. Divorce is still a social taboo where I come from, but not once did they make me feel like I was a burden, nor did they let me regret my choices. Instead, they stood beside me through every challenge, and loved my children as fiercely as I do. And because of them, my children know what unconditional love looks like – not just from a mother, but from grandparents who have their backs through thick and thin.

Raising Boys Who Will Make the World Better 

If there’s one thing I am determined about, it’s raising my boys to be good men. The world doesn’t need more people who bulldoze through life without a second thought for others—it needs men who are mindful, respectful, and kind. I tell my boys that success isn’t measured by money or status. It is measured by how you treat people.

Now, do I always get it right? Absolutely not. I lose my patience, I snap, and then regret it five minutes later. But I also own up to my mistakes. I say sorry when I need to. And in doing so, I hope they learn that strength isn’t about never being wrong – it’s about having the humility to admit when you are.

Making Memories in the Middle of the Madness

With our packed schedules, quality time is sacred. We don’t always get leisurely weekends together, but we know how to make the most of what we have. Whether it’s watching a movie, grabbing ice cream, or even having random conversations in the car, those little moments are all that matter.

I want my boys to remember a childhood where they laughed a lot, where they felt safe, where their mother, despite all her worries and responsibilities, was present.

The Hardest Part and How I Got Through It

The toughest part of this journey wasn’t just becoming a single parent—it was stepping into an entirely new version of myself. I had never worked before my divorce. Suddenly, I was not only responsible for two children, but I also had to figure out who I was outside of being someone’s wife. 

I threw myself into work, not just because I had to, but because it gave me purpose. It kept me from drowning in the “what ifs” and “why me’s.” Do I still battle internally? Without a doubt. Has life become easier? Perhaps. When you’re at peace with yourself and your place in life, even the hardest days don’t quite land a heavy blow.

For Every Mother Who Feels Like She’s Starting Over

If you’re a newly single mother, standing at the edge of an unknown future, here’s what I want you to know—There is hope. 

At this moment, it may feel like a door has slammed shut, trapping you in uncertainty. But what if I told you that door wasn’t a dead end? What if it was just a passageway to something better?

Heal first. Learn from your past, but don’t let it define you. You are not broken, you are becoming. There are days when exhaustion weighs me down, when doubt creeps in, and when I wonder if I am doing enough. But then there will be moments—big and small—that remind me why I keep pushing forward. Like the sound of my boys’ laughter, the way they look at me with trust and the realization that we are building a life together.

You may not have chosen this path, but you are walking it with strength and grace. And one day, you’ll look back and realize—you didn’t just raise your children. You raised yourself too.

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Hira Sagheer

Single mom, full-time hustler, dodging Lego landmines, and making miracles happen on caffeine. With a Master’s in Applied Linguistics, teaching is her superpower - by day she educates, by night she negotiates bedtimes, and in between, she tries to remember where she left her coffee. She’s raising kind, respectful boys who won’t think socks belong on the floor. Life is a whirlwind, but she wouldn’t trade it for anything - except maybe, a nap?

Latest posts by Hira Sagheer (see all)

• A New Beginning: Raising Boys, Raising Myself  - March 12, 2025